On the Fastrack
by Caterpillar
Summary: What happens when the Senshi of speed steels Eudial's car? (I am going to get this @#^$* summary fixed!)


Own these characters I do not

Own these characters I do not.

One of these days, I'm going to spring for Eudial to take driving lessons, Michiru thought. She watched as said driver spun the van around three times, then came to a screeching halt six inches from a tree. Haruka, standing next to her, shook her head sadly. "What a waste of a car," she moaned. They watched in stony silence as Eudial cruelly stole the heart of a young schoolgirl. With a shared nod, the two Senshi jumped out from behind the tree.

Haruka ran past Eudial like a cold breeze. She grabbed the heart crystal and cradled it in her arms. "Hey, you bitch!" Eudial shouted. "You better give that back! I have PMS right now, and I'm no mood to let you steal my crystal!"

"It's impolite to discuss such personal matters in public," Michiru said as she hit her "I'm smart, beautiful, and talented, and I'm going to kick the crap out of you" pose. While Eudial was distracted, Haruka looked at the purloined heart crystal. Impure, as always. Regretfully, she put it back in the young girl's body, just in time to see Sailor Moon show up.

"Right on time," Haruka whispered. On cue, she and Michiru jumped back behind their tree. Michiru scanned for a way they could make a quick exit as Sailor Moon and Eudial started their cliché war. She noticed Eudial's van, and tugged on Haruka's glove.

"Over here." The two girls sneaked over to the driver's side of the van, where they would be hidden. Michiru was about to dash off when Haruka stood up and peered inside the van.

"Ooh, ooh, Michi, look! She left the keys in the van!" Haruka was bouncing up and down with excitement. "Please, can we go for a spin? It would be so cool!" Haruka gave her a sad puppy dog look. "You know I've always wanted to drive her car. Can you imagine how pissed she would be?" At this Michiru brightened. She ran over to the passenger side and got in. Haruka giggled like a maniac and started the van. She revved the engine a few times, each roar making her laughter more and more demonical.

Eudial finally noticed something was amiss with her vehicle when it took off without her, leaving behind very impressive skid marks. As surprised as she was at the sudden animation of her van, she was even more surprised when it spun around, revealing the hijackers. "You!" she screamed. Haruka was hunched over the steering wheel, her face contorted in a smile only the wicked can appreciate. She gunned the engine a few more times, letting Eudial take a few precious moments to figure out what was going to happen. Just the light bulb appeared over Eudial's head, Haruka floored it.

What happened next was a surprise to everyone. Instead of heading strait for Eudial, the van did something very peculiar. It began to spin around; spiraling as if it were performing pirouettes across the grass. To put it in a more concise manner, Haruka was pulling doughnuts in Eudial's van. Later accounts would vary, but all present would claim that Haruka had a rather jovial expression on her face, while Michiru's was closer to describing perfect terror. The witnesses also reported hearing two distinct voices issuing from the van, rising and falling as the runaway vehicle traced perfect circles over the greenery. One was "HAAAaaaRRRUUUuuuKAAaaAAAaaAAAaaAAAaaAAA!" and the other was "WHHOOOOOooooOOOOOoooOOOOOoooOOOoooHHHoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOO!" With that as their departing cry, the two car thieves spun off the grass, onto the road, and into the sunset, leaving Eudial with no choice but to catch the bus.

Haruka and Michiru were congratulating their success as the red and blue lights flashed in the rearview mirror. As a dutiful driver, Haruka pulled to the side of the road and waited patiently for the officer. He was a stern man, and not inclined towards favoring girls in crazy cheerleading outfits. His shift was almost over, a fact that brought him no joy, for he had been in a sour mood since spilling coffee on his shirt that morning. Haruka, while momentarily quiet, was also not in the best of spirits, for she realized that being pulled over in a stolen car could lead to potential problems. She was also at a loss for a driver's license, for her wallet was in her pants, which were lost in the cosmos as far as she knew. In a corner of her mind, she made a mental note to ask where her clothes departed too when she transformed.

She reached over to the glove compartment, hoping that Eudial kept her registration in a convenient place. Unbeknownst to her, Eudial had an ace up her sleeve when it came to police intervention, which was a common occurance when she drove. When Haruka unlatched the door, a daimon was released, specially designed for the boys in blue. As the daimon sprang out of the van, so did Haruka and Michiru, using this pleasant intervention to make their escape.

The policeman did not suffer long, however, for while the Outer Senshi had been waiting by the side of the road, Sailor Mars had been pedaling furiously on her bike, with Sailor Moon on the handlebars. The other planets were bringing up the rear, a little out of breath, but none the worse for wear. They were hoping to accost the rouge Senshi for their lack of decorum regarding heart crystals, or at least ask for a turn in Eudial's appropriated van. Either way, they arrived in time to save the day, the officer, the van, and Haruka's driving record.


End file.
